Monday, December 16, 2019

Help Wanted

Psssst! Over here! I’ve got an offer for you.

Has anyone ever told you that you ought to run for Board of Education? You really should. Right now in my district there only one declared candidate so far and we really need at least two to give people some kind of choice.

I just know you’d be perfect for the job,

What can you expect? Well, the job itself pays almost nothing. But think of your contribution to the community. And you will meet all kinds of interesting people at Board Meetings. Some will be there just to insult you. Some will limit their displeasure to making rude noises. Not so bad, really.

In the present climate you can expect residents who don’t approve of your job performance to malign you on social media and MPIA your emails in an attempt to show how awful you are. Of course, you are going to be truly wonderful in every respect so that won’t bother you, right?

The ideal candidate has a job they can take time away from on a regular basis in order to attend meetings. Of course, if you have enough money that you don’t have to work at all that’s a plus. Besides, the school system really needs people who are really good at managing money. Goodness knows the salary is merely a token of appreciation compared to the hours you will put in.

Remember, this is a non-partisan election. This means that anyone who doesn’t like your views will accuse you of being a member of the political party they don’t like.

By now I am sure you are excited to learn more about how to file as a candidate. I know that someone with your qualifications and passion for public service will jump at the chance. Don’t hesitate. We’re all counting on you.


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