Skip to main content

Annual Protest

I made it a few weeks longer this year before having my usual breakdown. I was walking though the Giant when I spied that one thing that pushed me completely over the edge. I'm sorry to say that I didn't stop to photograph it, but I'll give you a hint.

It's the return of the pumpkin things. All the pumpkin things. One can barely move these days without bumping into one. Why do we persist in this self-inflicted delusion?

We all know by now that Pumpkin Spice lattés contain no pumpkin. And just this week the word got out that even canned pumpkin doesn't contain actual pumpkin! Which means that probably most pumpkin things in the world are not really pumpkin, either. Pies, muffins, cookies, cheesecake, mousse...no pumpkin.

It's a cruel joke, really. Probably devised by some cranky mom or school lunch lady who just wants us to eat our squash. The horror of it--"squash spice", "squash pie", "squash mousse." Everything you believed about pumpkin is a lie. How will you ever trust anything again?

Our Cinderella dreams have come to a burnt-out Jack-o-Lantern end.

Anyway, back to the grocery. I turned the corner to the next aisle and there it was: pumpkin...paper...towels. I began to feel a little queasy. I may have started to hyperventilate. I backed away slowly and moved on with my shopping.

Paper towels? What's next? Pumpkin bathroom tissue? Shampoo? Feminine hygiene products?

The march of the pumpkins must be quashed. We must fight for our right to live pumpkin-free. Join me. Before it's too late.

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Teacher Gifts

Today is the last day of school before the Winter Break. It’s a good time to remember the far-reaching nature of our public school system. You may not have children. You may have sent your children to independent schools. It matters not. You will be impacted one way or another. Yesterday I read a long thread on Facebook about several waves of illness in the schools right now. There’s influenza A and norovirus, I believe. And of course there’s COVID. Apparently in some individual schools the rate of illness is high enough for school admin to notify parents.  When I was little the acceptable holiday gift for a teacher was one of those lovely floral handkerchief squares. (I don’t know what it was for male teachers. They were rare in my elementary years.) These days the range of teacher gifts is wider and I have fond memories of Target gift cards which I have written about before. I think it’s safe to say that giving one’s teacher Influenza, norovirus, or COVID is not the ideal holiday...
1 comment
Read more

Getting Fresh

One of my favorite days in the Spring comes when this year’s list of Farmer’s Markets is released. That happened this week. New this year are markets in Old Ellicott City and the “Merriweather Market” which, according to the address, will be located here . I mistakenly thought at first glance that it was in the new-construction part of the Merriweather District. I find the name confusing considering its actual location. I’m going to guess that this market is an initiative of the Howard Hughes Corporation because the name seems chosen more for branding purposes than anything else.  Alas, the market in Maple Lawn is gone. The thread on the markets on the County Executive’s FB page will provide you with quite the education in who actually runs the Farmers Markets vs what people often think is going on. Short answer: they are not  chosen nor run by the county. Each market is an independent entity, sometimes started by community volunteers, other times supported by local businesses...
1 comment
Read more

They Can Wait

This is not a typical Saturday post. That’s because, in my community, it’s not a typical Saturday.  Oakland Mills High School, after years of deferred repair, needs massive renovation. It’s pretty simple: when you don’t fix a problem it gets bigger. The school system itself said the the OMHS school building was  "no longer conducive to learning" back in 2018.  2018 .  But Thursday the Boad of Education voted to push it out of the lineup of important projects which will be given the go-ahead to proceed soonest.  In my opinion it’s a terrible decision and sets a dangerous precedent. To explain, here’s the advocacy letter I sent in support of Oakland Mills High School. I was rather proud of it. I am writing to ask you to proceed with needed renovation at Oakland Mills High School in the most timely and comprehensive manner humanly possible. I have read the letter sent to you by the Oakland Mills Community Association and I am in complete agreement. You are extremel...
1 comment
Read more