There are certain topics that I have been wanting to write about that require more than the usual amount of thinking. When I wake up in the morning, I say, "Blah! I am not awake enough to do this first thing in the morning. I'll do it tonight." And, when I get home from work, I say, "Blah! I am brain dead from a day of work! I will write it when I am fresh in the morning."
And so it goes. I am able to imagine those blog posts fully fleshed out the night before, or created in the still of the morning, But alas, they exist only in my imagination. Perhaps this is not the most accurate use of the Schrodinger meme. Perhaps it is more like Lewis Carroll's:
"You couldn't have it if you did want it," the Queen said. "The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday – but never jam to-day."
So it is with the topic of de facto segregation in the Howard County Schools and the importance of a Diversity Coordinator. I feel that whatever I write on this topic must be perfect. And so it continues to dog me day and night: I just can't do this today. I'll do it tomorrow.
One image that is stuck in my mind is that of the dog sitting surrounded by flames saying, "This is fine." I feel that there is a divide between those who want to work on this issue but are concerned about doing it "in the right way" and those whose children are in the flames and want them out NOW. It's an issue that can't just be intellectual. It's visceral.
My children are in that burning building!
If we don't feel that immediacy it is because we have the privilege to be safe from the flames.
I'm not going to write the perfect post on this. Not in the morning. Not in the evening. At the moment all I can do is say, "It's not fine."
It's embarrassingly imperfect. But it's a start.
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