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Hearts and Flowers

Yesterday a friend asked for responses on this question:

Poll: Do you celebrate Valentine's Day?

She then added:

I have a theory that I'll reveal once I've received some responses. But, you know, try to go about your regular routines while you anticipate that.

My response:

I adore Valentine's Day. No one else in my immediate family feels the same way. But when I was divorced as a single parent I kind of hated it.

This morning Facebook reminded me of this, written back when "Notes" were a thing:

Valentine's Day Top Ten--A Woman Strikes Back!

February 9, 2010
Really tired of hearing men dish about how dumb Valentine's Day is, blah, blah, blah. Have they any idea how torturous a day it can be for women?

Ready to fill you in, guys:

1. Valentine's Day for many single women is yet another day advertising that you are alone, you don't have anyone, and you are thus excluded for the world of love and couple-dom.

2. However, if you do have someone and he does nothing or something careless or thoughtless, the whole Valentine world is laughing at you. You may have thought you were lovable but in fact you were barely worth a last-minute trip to the Safeway for the last card left on the rack.

3. Although men think women demand they be mind readers, no man was ever killed for asking, "What would you like to do for Valentine's Day, honey?" and then doing it.

4. No, guys, you do not have to spend a million to be a Valentine success. You just have to use the same darn creativity you use to solve problems at work, fix things you really want fixed, or solve those fun games you love to play. Yes, you need to give the matter your attention. This does not cost $.

5. Speaking of attention, if you just gave your sweetheart 15 minutes of undivided attention--no tv, computers, handheld devices or other distractions, you would be amazed at the results. Having a man give you that kind of sincere attention is truly sexy.

6. Notice invisible things. How many invisible things does your sweetheart do for you all the time?Now would be a good time to say, "Wow--I love how you always______________. It makes me feel so loved and appreciated." This goes a long way towards helping a women realize all those invisible things you are doing all the time for her, which may not, at first glance, seem romantic.

7. If you are not married or in a long-term relationship, but want to have a fun Valentine's Day with your lady friend, (without going overboard)I suggest lightening up and having some fun: be a kid.How about getting together to make cookies, play with playdough, plan a treasure hunt, have a game night with some really good chocolate and a bottle of wine?

8. Something you need to remember--a woman wants to find something that makes you happy on Valentine's Day, too. If you can stretch out of your comfort zone to meet her where she is, you may discover that she is pretty understanding about what would make a fun day for you. Within reason of course.

9. If you really hate Valentine's Day, or have some kind of phobia that can't be explained by medical science, you can still be a winner. Be honest. And then choose some other day of the year to go all out for your sweetheart. On Valentine's Day, give her a hug and a kiss and tell her how great she is. The memory of your wonderful time together will make all the difference.

10. Don't tell me you don't have enough time to give Valentine's Day the justice a woman thinks it deserves. Every woman in this world knows that you have 364 days to prepare for this day, and even if you only gave five minutes of thought and some loose change daily, you would be ready.So, be a man with a plan. A cool plan. A loving plan.

Happy Valentine's Day to all--may it be at least a taste of what you wish. And don't be too hard on yourself if it isn't. There is always chocolate, wine, friends. And next year.

*****


I've mellowed a lot since I wrote this. I still adore Valentine's Day, but I don't need it to go any particular way anymore. I have enough love in my life. I've made peace with it, I guess.

I'm looking forward to my friend's theory on all this.

And for a man's point of view, here's the post that started it all from HoCo local writer Mike Morucci.








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