Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Not Trend-Worthy

For a brief shining moment yesterday I entertained the notion of getting a witty hashtag to trend on Twitter. This is what happens if you have a) delusions of grandeur, or b) too much coffee.

As I waited for my Venti iced coffee (just cream, no sugar) I noticed one of those little chalkboard signs announcing a new product. Now, when you order your drink “with a shot”, you can have it “updosed”.

Wait, what?

That’s right, “updosed”, a made up term which means you can chose how strong you want the added shot of espresso to be. At least, that is my understanding from reading the chalkboard before I drank my morning coffee at the Wilde Lake Starbucks.

I got it into my head that I was going to make “updosed” a thing.

You can now have your espresso “updosed” at Starbucks . Congrats for coming up with a word we didn’t know we needed.

 “What’s wrong with him?” “Don’t know. Looking a little...*updosed* I’m thinking”

Your turn. Use #updosed in a sentence, Starbucks fans.

A few loyal friends obliged.

Large swarms of updosed, free-range preschoolers can be hazardous, so wise parents serve cake and ice cream at the end of the birthday party.

He was constipated till he got an UPdose!

All these kids running around camp like they've been updosed.  #Facts

And, my final offering:

Doctor: I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.
Nurse: But, Doctor, what about—?
Doctor: Well, maybe. But there’s a lot of risks. 
Nurse: But we have to try!
Doctor: All right. We’ll do it. Prepare the patient to be updosed.

Rather like the poor girl who “tried to make ‘fetch’ happen”, I went for the big splash and made nary a ripple. It was nice while it lasted, though.

Wouldn’t it be fun to be in the room when companies made up these silly words?

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