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Half Full

I confess that I broke down and had groceries delivered by Amazon last night so that I’d be able to pack lunches today. It’s not a regular occurrence. Something about the exhaustion of a Monday evening combined with ferrying a teenager to rehearsals did me in. I just couldn’t face another trip out.

And so I found myself, as ten o’clock neared, wanting to go to bed but waiting for an Amazon delivery. Just after I got into my nightclothes, it arrived.

“This is silly,” I said to my husband as I climbed out of bed.

“What is?”

“I ordered from Amazon because I was too tired to go to the store, but now I’m just too tired to get out of bed.”

Rather pathetic. A world so small that getting out of bed and going downstairs to collect delivered foodstuffs feels like too much effort. Would I rather they appeared magically in my refrigerator?

Maybe.

Some days it feels as though I can work, or I can take care of all those home/life things like groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, doctor’s appointments camp sign ups...I can’t do both. But, like most folks, I have to. And, in truth, my life is comfortable and affords me many conveniences. I move through a world where roads are smoother and doors are held open because of privilege.

I need to do better at this gratitude thing.

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